It's been a while.

I know it's been a while. So much going on. School is taking up a lot of my time. Family is taking up a lot of my time. Work is taking too much of my time. Hubby was out of town for a conference, and the kids were at Grandma's. I worked a booth for our K9 Memorial Fund at a BBQ and now I am sick from the BBQ smoke. I also had to coach TBall with Abbey attached to my hip. She refused to let me put her down and so now my back hurts from bending down and picking up balls while holding her. But she wanted to play ball so bad, it was so cute. And I am PMSing so I was in a bad mood all day yesterday. I am achy and I need more sleep.

Watched a video of the Brawl in Arizona. That was insane. It was only funny because the officer were okay. But that was ridiculous. And a Christian band and family at that. I am so digusted.

First Baby Steps

I went today to talk to an advisor at school. It was very informative, and though I am thoroughly terrified, I know more things. I know what classes I will need to take to start off, and I am so close to applying to nursing school. I only have a few classes left to apply, but since I need financial aid, and my classes have to be taken in order, then I have to take 3 semesters to finish. But I will be able to get all my prereqs out of the way, and even some of my classes for my BSN done. I printed out my test assesment prep, put it into binders, and will start my reading when I get home. I have 2 schools I can apply to that are in my area. I need to get my GPA up a little bit to help me. There's a wait list?! That's crazy. How does that work? Don't these young kids know I have a family to feed? But that's just more motivation to work harder, and get better grades. I am so excited. I love to learn. I am curious to see what I've retained too. Good thing you can prep for the test. No more Game of Thrones, 50 Shades, or other light reading. It's all mitosis and organisms from here.

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

"Dreams don't have deadlines. Believe in yourself".

So many things have happened recently. I am still not feeling well, which really pisses me off. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. Ugh. We found out, the same time as the rest of America, that another company will be trying to buy out my company. If that happens, more than likely, I won't have a job any more. That has caused me to sit down and really focus on what I want to be when I grow up. I wake up every day, thankful I have a job that pays the bills, and allows the extras, and I have a kick ass boss, though he's a pain in the ass too, though he means well.
But I don't feel fulfilled. I've struggled with this for a long time. My friends have careers and love what they do. I push paper and pencils to people who argue with me over a price difference of $0.05. I struggled at my bank as well, but I left to come to my current position. I thought more money would cover up that feeling. It masked it for a while. But it's back and yelling at me. So with Hubby's support, I've decided to go back to school in August. Regardless if my position is still here or not. It's time I put my big girl panties on and finish school. I've got 70+ hours under my belt. No degree. I want to go to Nursing School. I want to feel like I am making a difference. I want to help people. I WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
Also, how can I stress the importance of school to my children if I didn't finish. I want people to be proud of me, but most of all, I want to be proud of myself. I want to finish something. Another benefit is I love school. I love to learn. I love knowing things. I think that is what separates us from the amoebas. I'm full of random useless trivia. And I love it. I love being smart and knowing ALL THE THINGS!!! And I am smart enough to know I hardly know anything in this world. I want to learn it all. I think that's partly what life is about. Constantly learning. As I am teaching my daughters and learned from the Duggars, "Practice makes Progress". Thanks Duggars!
I know there are lots of things to worry about. Like paying bills. I will need a new laptop, mine is fried, (though I love Laptoppy). Doing this with 2 kids. Getting good grades. But I have to do it. I have to finish. For my sake.
As the great LL Cool J said, "Dreams don't have deadlines. Believe in yourself". I HEAR YOU LL! Loud and Clear!